That Freakin’ Colonoscopy

January 24, 2020

My colonoscopy was scheduled for January 20. The week prior to that I tried to get the prescription filled for the low volume solution. Walgreens didn’t have it. I called to several other pharmacies. No one had it. I emailed the provider who prescribed it who told me to check with a couple of the compounding pharmacies in town. Nope, no luck. Why? BECAUSE THEY STOPPED MAKING IT IN 2016. I found this out myself via Google. I messaged the doctor again and her nurse called me and told me to pick something up over the counter. I can’t remember the name of it now but it was super cheap, less than a dollar per bottle, and I bought three bottles. It was only after I got it home did I see the label warning: “Do not use with kidney disease.”

Oh brother. The prescribing provider KNEW I had kidney disease. We talked about it. It was the reason we decided the endoscopy wasn’t needed. I messaged again. Her nurse called me and left a message that they had sent a prescription for something else to Walgreens (I can’t remember the name). I read up on that one as well. Guess what—not to be used with kidney disease.

Seriously? What is WITH these providers?? I called this time and spoke with the nurse. By this point, it was the Thursday before the scheduled colonoscopy on Monday. I told her that the warnings say NOT to use this solution if you have kidney disease. She said she had spoken to the doctor and he (I don’t know who “he” was–I had seen a female nurse practitioner for my consult) said it was “fine” for me to use. I asked, “Is this the same doctor who told me to buy the previous stuff that also shouldn’t be used with kidney disease?” Very. Long. Pause. Then she snippily said, “If you want to cancel the procedure, that’s fine.” I said, “Yeah, let’s just cancel it.” And she hung up on me. Nice.

I then emailed my PCP who had put in the referral back in June and told him the procedure had been cancelled (didn’t go into details) and would he please write a prescription for the home test, the swipe-your-poop test. His assistant messaged me and said they would get that ordered (although now that I think about it, I’ve never gotten any more info about that. I need to follow up). Also: I poured the three bottles of the first stuff I bought down the drain. I’d like to think I have the cleanest drains in my cul-de-sac.

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